


Between the Pages

by MizDarling



Category: Kylo Ren - Fandom, Star Wars, ben solo - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, F/M, Librarian - Freeform, Modern AU, Professor Ren, TFA - Freeform, modern star wars au, tlj - Freeform, tros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:55:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22263718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizDarling/pseuds/MizDarling
Summary: Ben Solo finally did it.  All those years and schooling and he finally had a job at a university library like he'd always wanted.  Almost everything was perfect - thinking he’s finally escaped his rocky past - but what was the point of all this success without someone to share it with?He never knew this new seemingly perfect life and job could possibly be put in jeopardy by a student with dark eyes and an addictive smile...---------------Athena Wood is new in town, finally carrying on the family legacy and starting down the path of becoming a professor. She expected hours of hard work, and countless sleepless nights on the path to finally complete her Masters degree.What she didn't expect was the tall librarian catching her eye and capturing her attention, and everything that comes along with falling for a man like him.*New chapter every Wednesday!*
Relationships: Ben/OC, Kylo/OC - Relationship
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1 - Attie

I took a deep breath, breathing in slowly and exhaling even slower. Pulling the key from my pocket I unlocked my new apartment, and looked around the empty room. It was a small bachelor apartment; just one room and a bathroom. The bare walls, that looked to have been white at some point, was yellowed with age, and the outlines of long removed picture frames showed the age even more. As I stepped inside, the dark wood floors of the entranceway creaked loudly. The carpet that covered the rest of the apartment, which thankfully looked to be recently scrubbed and cleaned, was a deep charcoal grey and delightfully fluffy. I dropped the first box onto the floor, and held the door open for the movers as I saw them coming up the hallway. They dropped the few remaining boxes and furniture pieces I had onto the floor, chatting with each other as they did. I thanked them, handed them a small tip, and locked the door behind them. I looked around the room once again before rolling up my sleeves and beginning the arduous process of unpacking. First clothes, then my textbooks, my toiletries, my decorations, and so on and so forth until I collapsed onto my made bed exhausted. I craned my head to look at my kitchenette to the right of my bed, and briefly contemplated being a functioning adult and making myself dinner. 

Moments later I was on the bus to the campus bar. I watched an unfamiliar landscape roll by as the bus travelled along its route. I contemplated all that had happened today, and the fact that just this morning I was loading my life into a moving truck before taking a train to a brand new city all on my own. No family, no friends, no anyone here now. I was alone in a big city with no one. I tried to be optimistic and think of it as a new adventure, I was getting my masters degree in women's history finally after already completing four hard years of work getting my bachelors. For as long as we could tell, the women in my family had been professors of various histories, so the pressure to succeed at this and eventually move onto my PhD was painfully present. Not realizing how lost in thought I was, I snapped out of it just as we pulled away from what was supposed to be my stop. I made a noise of alarm, then sighed as I pushed the stop button; the bus making a familiar ding! as the driver was alerted to my request. The bus stopped again after a short drive, and I hopped off the bus with a thank you to the driver. I looked around, and realized I was instead at the campus library as opposed to the bar. I peered into the large front windows, and saw a small cafe inside. Contemplating whether to go eat there instead or hop on the bus to the last stop, the loud grumbling in my stomach made the choice for me. I went inside, and stood in the short line near the counter. Looking around the lobby of the library as I waited, my eyes fell on the front desk and then, more specifically, on the man stood behind the desk sorting books. My eyes widened slightly as I looked at him. Despite being on the opposite side of the large lobby, I could see he was extremely tall and broad, with voluminous black hair and glasses perched on his large nose. I found myself wondering at his profile, which accented his plump lips. He wore a black button up that puckered at the buttons because of his chest, and my gaze followed the slope of his large arms to his equally as large hands which gripped a book. I swallowed harshly and averted my eyes as I reached the front of the line, placing an order for a sandwich and a hot cocoa. Sitting down at one of the cafe tables, I forced myself to focus on my phone as I texted some people from back home in an attempt to not stare at the librarian. Before long my food and drink were gone, and with my text conversations ended my attention was drawn back to the front desk. The man was gone, and I was filled with a mix of disappointment and relief that I wouldn't be tempted to stare any longer. The cafe had become incredibly full, with the chair opposite myself the only available seat now. Suddenly my gaze fell on the lineup to order, and my breath hitched as I saw the man again, ordering something. He was even taller than I expected up close, with round legs and massive feet. I studied him discreetly, trying to not look to obvious but feeling like a total creep. I had never seen someone like him; he was breathtaking and his unique face was addicting to look at. This wasn't me, but I couldn't help it. I glanced back at my phone as he completed his order, and I noticed him look around the full cafe with a furrowed brow. In my peripheral vision, I saw him notice my table and begin walking in my direction. My breath stuck in my throat as he got closer. 

"Uh, hello, I'm sorry to bother you, would you mind if I sit here? Everywhere else is occupied," he asked kindly. I felt my bones liquify at the sound of his gorgeously deep, raspy voice and I resisted the urge to squeeze my thighs together. 

"Yes of course, go ahead," I finally responded, pleased to hear my voice come out as totally normal. He took his seat, his long legs jutting out from the sides as they failed to fit under the small table. 

"My name is Ben Solo, I'm the new librarian," he told me with a smile, extending his large hand to me. 

"I'm Athena Woods, but most people call me Attie," I responded, putting my comparatively tiny hand in his and shaking it. His hand enveloped mine, and it was slightly roughened with callouses. 

"Ah Athena, like the goddess of wisdom," he chuckled.

"Yeah my parents are an architect and a classics professor so they named myself and my brother after their favourites. My brother is Hermes," I responded with a small giggle. 

"That would explain a lot. Well I love the classics so I think it's a wonderfully unique name," he grinned. I felt my cheeks immediately heat up. "What are you at taking here at the university?"

"I'm doing my masters in history, specifically focusing on early women's history. I want to be a professor like my mom, but I have a long way to go," I told him.

"That's amazing, I hope it goes well for you. I know how difficult that process can be," he smiled. God I could listen to him talk all night... He looked at his watch and sighed. 

"My break is almost done, I still have a couple hours of work to go, I should get back. It was wonderful talking with you, Miss Woods," he said, rising out of the chair and towering over me. I craned my neck to meet his eyes and smiled. "I'm sure I'll see you around the library!"

"Yeah it was nice talking to you too, have a good evening Mr. Solo," I responded. He gave me one more small smirk and walked off. I took a deep breath and blinked, the image of the tall man and his beautiful smile seemingly burned into the backs of my eyelids. Mentally shaking myself, I left the cafe and made my way towards the door, subtly glancing over my shoulder to see him back at work already. I left before he could see me again, heading for the bus stop. 

I may need to visit the library again soon.


	2. Chapter 2 - Ben

I had noticed her the moment she had walked in; she seemed to suck all oxygen from the room and left me breathless. Her long sandy blonde hair framed a face full of intelligence and wonderment, with strikingly dark eyes that I wished I could catch the attention of. She continued through the lobby to the small cafe to my left, and I attempted to focus on my work instead. My watch beeped suddenly, and I realized it was time for my break. Normally, for my last break of the day I would just sit in the employee lounge and waste the 15 minutes on my phone but today I found myself heading for the cafe. She sat near the window, sipping absentmindedly on her drink and scrolling through her phone. The cafe was full of chatter and people; it was at peak business at this hour and there were no seats left. Well all except one. I contemplated just returning the lounge, but my body seemed to decide for me and next thing I knew I was standing beside her.

"Uh, hello, I'm sorry to bother you, would you mind if I sit here? Everywhere else is occupied," I asked. She looked up at me, and I could almost swear I saw her freckled cheeks go slightly rosy. 

"Yes of course, go ahead," she responded, giving a kind smile. I sat down across from her, trying to get comfortable at the small table.

"My name is Ben Solo, I'm the new librarian," I said smiling, putting out my hand to her.

"I'm Athena Woods, but most people call me Attie," she replied, shaking my hand. Despite her wearing what appeared to be higher end clothing, the strength in her grip and the slight roughness of her skin told me she worked to earn it. 

"Ah Athena, like the goddess of wisdom," I chuckled.

"Yeah my parents are an architect and a Greek and Roman studies professor so they named myself and my brother after their favourites. My brother is Hermes," she responded, giggling. My mind went blank as the sound of her laugh, and I found myself almost struggling to keep the conversation going. 

"That would explain a lot. Well I love the classics so I think it's a wonderfully unique name. What are you at taking here at the university?" I finally said. We chatted for a short while longer, and it took me noticing my watch to remember I'm on a break. I checked it, and fought back a sigh. 

"My break is almost done, I still have a couple hours of work to go, I should get back. It was wonderful talking with you, Miss Woods," I said, getting up what felt like far too fast. "I'm sure I'll see you around the library."

"Yeah it was nice talking to you too, have a good evening Mr. Solo," she responded. I nodded at her as a farewell and headed back to my desk, my undrunk coffee in my hand. I returned to work, sorting through the returns. Not looking up, I saw Attie leaving and I could've sworn I saw her look back at me... I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. 

Get it together, she's a student you know that nothing could happen between you two. 

My coworker, Jocasta Nu - or Jo for short - stumbled up to me with a stack of papers in her arms. I took them from her with little effort. 

"Thank you, Mr. Solo. That is quite the stack," Jo huffed dryly. 

Jo was a fifty-something who'd been working at the university for god knows how long. She was short and thin, with small legs but she could move faster than anyone. She always dressed conservatively, and wore her nearly-white blonde hair in a ponytail so tight it even made my own scalp hurt. I always wondered at how she always seemed to find the students making even a breath of noise, it was like she was everywhere at once. She was obsessed with every tiny detail of the university rules, and was extraordinarily old fashioned. 

I can't lie. She terrified even me. 

"What is all this?" I asked, flipping through the pages.

"Ads for our new library TA," she replied sharply. 

"Wouldn't it be better to post it online Mrs. 2Nu?" I suggested. She pursed her lips at me, and I accepted that as a negative response. 

"I will post them around the library tonight and the rest will go up around campus tomorrow," she informed me, adjusting the stack and taking a small portion to set up. I watched her march off, glaring at the students as she passed them. I scoffed to myself quietly, pitying whoever may be saddled as the new TA here and having to deal with Jo. The last couple hours of my shift crept by, and finally I was trudging out of the library door to my car with my bag slung over my shoulder. Hefting it into the car, my paperwork scattered across the backseat. I swore under my breath and reorganized it all, finding one of the TA ads in the stack. I studied it for a moment, then slipped it back into my bag as I wondered at who would be joining us in the library soon. As I drove home, I let my mind wander finally back to Attie and her dark eyes. I thought about how her face reddened when she saw me, and for a moment I let myself believe I made her blush; as absurd as that may be in reality. 

_ I wonder if she'll see the ad for the TA… _

I shook the concept out of my head, scolding myself for letting myself even consider it. It was completely ridiculous and I knew it, but it was pleasant to imagine her hanging around the library more often; even if they would be under the scrutiny of Jo at all times. As I drove back to my apartment towards the September sunset, I contemplated what this year would hold for me. A new job and a new city, somewhere to start over again away from my past. But despite all of this, I was still returning to an empty apartment. 

What good is finally having the life you've always wanted, without anyone to share that with?


	3. Chapter 3 - Attie

I stood practically frozen in front of the library doors, gripping the folder in my hands tightly enough that I began to worry I was creasing my resume.  _ Why am I doing this, it's barely my area of study and even more to worry about on top of my thesis. _

The moment I had seen the advert for the library TA position a couple days after my first visit to the building, I found myself immediately at a nearby computer printing off my resume and references. Now here I was, preparing for an interview with one of the librarians. I prayed it wasn't him, I don't think I could survive it. As I walked inside, I saw Ben standing behind the front desk and my heart stopped for a brief moment. Taking a breath I made my way up to the desk, subconsciously gripping my file folder even tighter as I did. I cleared my throat, and he looked up at the sudden sound.

"Oh, hello Miss. Woods can I help you with anything today?" He asked me with a smile. I felt my face immediately get hot as his eyes met mine. 

"O-oh yes actually," I stammered out, mentally cursing myself for coming across so awkwardly, "I'm actually here for an interview? For the TA position?"

"Oh! Wonderful!" He said after a moment, disappearing into a back area behind the desk. He returned a moment later with a terrifying, skeletal looking woman with the most piercing blue eyes I had ever scene. I felt like she was staring right through me, and could see every impure thought I'd ever had with a single glance. 

I was immediately uncomfortable. 

"This is Miss. Athena Woods, she's here for the interview," I heard Ben say to her. Despite the fact he towered over her by at least a foot or more, I could sense he was just as frightened of her as I was. She looked me up and down sharply, then jutted out her hand to shake mine. I did so with my usual job interview firmness they taught you to have since high school, but even so I had to fight a wince as she squeezed mine back harshly. 

"Miss. Woods I am Mrs. Jocasta Nu. Please follow me into the office," she said bluntly, turning on her heel and returning to the back area. Ben and I exchanged looks as he unlocked the door to the front desk, moving aside so I could slide past him. Our chests just grazed momentarily as I shuffled by him through the small entrance and I looked down at my feet so he wouldn't notice my cheeks reddening once again. Following Mrs. Nu into her office, I sat across from her at her immaculately tidy desk. Her office was devoid of all decoration, save for a single framed photo of what appeared to be her husband facing me on her desk. There were no pictures on the bulletin board behind her or knick knacks on her shelves; just folders upon folders and obnoxiously thick books. I did my best not to appear put off. 

"So. Miss Woods, shall we begin?" She said curtly, sitting across from me daintily. I barely remember the interview that followed, I just remember answering her questions as matter-of-factly as possible, and trying not to break eye contact with those icy eyes of hers. It felt like if I did I was admitting defeat or something. Finally, after what felt like an agonizingly long time, she dismissed me with another harshly strong handshake. As I left the office the door slammed shut directly behind, causing me to jump in shock. Ben, who was still behind the desk, looked up suddenly at the sound. He smiled at me. 

"How'd it go?" He asked quietly. 

"I have no idea," I responded honestly, "She's very difficult to read." He chuckled at this, and I felt goosebumps appear all over me at the sound. 

"That's very true. I had my job interview with her and it's a harrowing experience," he laughed. He moved to open the latch for me to exit the desk, and I suddenly felt half disappointed that I had to leave. "I hope you get the position," he smiled as I awkwardly shuffled past him again. 

"Thank you, Mr. Solo, I hope so too. I'll see you around," I replied with a small smile. I gave a small wave before returning to the cool fall air.  _ I should probably go work on my papers now seeing as that's why I'm paying thousands of dollars to be here. _ I mentally scolded myself for getting distracted, and shoved my hands in my skirt pockets as I trudged away from the towering library. 

———————————————

Three days later, my phone pinged as a notification lit up my phone screen.  _ Who the fuck is contacting me so early?  _ I slung my arm out from under the covers to retrieve my device from the bedside table, blinking at the bright light. 

9:30am.

_ Oh, I guess I just over slept again.  _

I clicked on the email, and nearly squeaked in excitement. 

**Dear Miss. Athena Woods,**

**We are pleased to offer you the position of Library TA for...**

I barely registered the remainder of the email, just focusing on those first 15 words. It had been quite a while since I'd interviewed for a position, so I was content knowing that I still had it in me. Looking over the information, I realized my first training shift would be later that day, and I suddenly become incredibly nervous that it was happening so quickly. I slogged out of bed and started a cup of coffee, then went to my closest and began to flip through it.

_ No, too short. Too long. Too formal. Too... just no. _

I finally decided on a baby blue turtleneck and a black pencil skirt, pulling at the hem of the skirt in an attempt to get it to lay flat. Glancing at my phone, I realised I still had a couple hours before my first shift. My stomach, grumbling loudly, decided for me what I would do for the remaining time I had. I pulled my purse over my shoulder and left my apartment, locking it behind me before heading off to the coffee shop on the corner.


	4. Chapter 4 - Ben

I stood behind the desk, intensely engrossed in a book of ledgers and attempted not to go cross eyed at all the number. Suddenly, I was drawn out of it by someone clearing their throat. I looked up, and found myself doing a double take when I saw Attie looking at me over the tall desk. My mind went blank for a brief moment, but I recovered in what I hoped was an unnoticeable length of time. 

"Oh, hello Miss. Woods can I help you with anything today?" I asked with forced calmness, smiling.

"O-oh yes actually. I'm actually here for an interview? For the TA position?" She replied quietly, looking up at me. 

I went immediately brain dead once again. This time I knew she noticed my pause before responding. 

"Oh! Wonderful!" I said with far too much enthusiasm. I disappearing into a back, cursing myself for being so obvious. 

"Mrs. Nu? Your 2:00 TA interview is here," I told her, poking my head into her office. She turned to look at me and nodded, rising almost robotically out of her chair and marching towards the front desk. I followed her out. 

"This is Miss. Athena Woods, she's here for the interview," I told her as we walked. As she came face to face with Attie, I saw her give a once over before jutting out her hand to shake Attie's. I saw her wince slightly at Jo's grip, and I understand that pain of Jo's infamous death grip. 

"Miss. Woods I am Mrs. Jocasta Nu. Please follow me into the office," she said in her usual cold tone, before gesturing for her to follow and returning to her office. She and I exchanged looked at each other and I gave her a reassuring smile as I unlatched the door. As I moved aside for her to enter, I felt her lightly brush against me as she walked. She immediately looked down at her feet, and I was thankful that she didn't see me tense and blush as she did. She disappeared into the back, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

So many thoughts raced through my head as I contemplated the now possibility of her working here, being around her regularly. Getting to know her better... 

I shook my head, attempting to erase my thoughts like one might erase an Etch A Sketch. It would've been inappropriate enough to seek a relationship with a student while I was faculty, but it would be even worse now that we may be working alongside one another. 

The slamming of a door snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see her standing in the doorway. I gave her a small smirk as she walked towards me. 

"How'd it go?" I asked in a low voice, leaning down so she could hear me. 

"I have no idea. She's very difficult to read," she replied quietly, giving me a wary smile in return. I gave a small laugh at this. 

"That's very true. I had my job interview with her and it's a harrowing experience," I told her with a chuckle. Unlatching the door, I turned back to her and added, "I hope you get the position." 

She exited past me again, and then smiled at me saying, "Thank you, Mr. Solo, I hope so too. I'll see you around." 

She waved, and I returned the gesture. As she left, I watched her go until she was completely out of view. I sighed deeply, returning to my work. Jo returned from her office, making notes on a clipboard. 

"How did the interview go?" I asked, leaning on the table. 

"Incredibly fruitful. She is an excellent candidate, very experienced and intelligent. She reminds me of myself at that age," she said emotionlessly. I fought back a snort at the comparison, discussing it at a bought of coughing. 

"I do hope you're not becoming sick Mr. Solo there's too much to be done," she said coldly.

"I'm fine, don't worry," I responded with a small laugh, "When will you be sending out the responses?"

"I still have multiple candidates so they'll be sent out in 3 days," she replied before marching off into the expanse of the library.

_ Three days of waiting. _

I groaned to myself, before forcing myself to return to my work. 

Days passed, and I found myself looking out for her as I worked. Everyone that came through the automatic doors I hoped was her only to be disappointed. Finally the day came for the emails to go out, but I was working an evening shift and wouldn't know the results until later in the day. I stood in front of my windows in my apartment that morning, looking out at the city and stretching. I hit my arms against the ceiling, giving a quiet "ow" at the impact. Deciding it was time for coffee, I searched through my dresser drawers from a pair of jeans and a grey sweater. I glanced in the mirror and decided the 5'o'clock shadow that darkened my face could wait until then. Shoving my wallet into the bottom of my pocket I headed out of the door, instinctively ducking my head as I did.

Down the elevator and out onto the street, I walked across the street to the small coffee shop I stopped at almost every morning. The barista behind the counter, a flamboyantly gay man named Poe, greeted me happily.

"Good morning Ben! The usual for today?” He chirped.

“Yes please, thank you Poe,” I replied with a smile, going to pull the exact change out of my wallet. Coins spilled out all over the floor and I swore as I attempted to catch them from rolling away. My last quarter rolled to the feet of a nearby customer and I stopped it with a swift slam of my hand right in front of them. They jumped back suddenly at this. 

“My apologies didn’t want to-“

I stopped dead as my eyes worked up to meet the eyes of the young woman I was currently crouched awkwardly in front of. 

“G-good morning, Miss. Woods,” I croaked weakly, feeling embarrassed and surprised at the same time. I stood up far too quickly, landing way too close to her. 

“Heh good morning Mr. Solo,” she responded, her wide eyes looking up at me. Both seemingly unsure what to do, I finally snapped myself out of it and put a more appropriate amount of space between us. 

“I think, seeing as we’re not on campus we can talk like normal human beings, huh?” I suggest with an awkward chuckle. 

“Yeah that sounds good… Ben,” she smiled. I fought the urge to fall back at her feet when she said my name. 

I saw Poe slide my coffee and bagel across the counter to me, giving me the most disturbingly giddy smile I’d ever seen. 

“Here’s your order  _ Mr. Solo _ ,” he said with a wiggle of his shoulders. 

“Thank you Poe,” I replied, taking the mug and shooting him a look. 

“And here’s yours, Miss, enjoy your day!” He told Attie with his usual customer service voice, giving her a mug of coffee and a muffin. She thanked him with a small smile. 

“I’m just over at the window if you’d like to sit with me?” She suggested shyly, gesturing to a table at the front of the store where I saw her book bag hanging off one of the chairs. 

"Oh uh yeah sure," I replied, following her. 

_ Dammit why didn’t I shave this morning... _


	5. Chapter 5 - Attie

Needless to say, having a man fall at my feet - literally - is not how I imagined this day would go. 

"G-good afternoon, Miss. Woods," he said, smiling awkwardly up at me. I felt the hair on my arms stand on end as I felt his eyes on me. He stumbled to his feet, standing so close I had to nearly look straight up to maintain eye contact. I could feel his body heat. 

"Heh good afternoon Mr. Solo," I replied shakily. He took a small step back finally, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

"I think, seeing as we're not on campus we can talk like normal human beings, huh?" He chuckled, running his large hand through his fluffy hair. I resisted the urge to do the same. 

"Yeah that sounds good... Ben," I finally said with a small smile. His name felt good to say somehow. 

The barista - who I think I heard him call Poe? - handed him his order, giving him an absurdly large smile.

"Here's your order  _ Mr. Solo _ ," he said with a little wiggle. 

"Thank you Poe," Ben replied, taking it and... was that a glare? 

"And here's yours, Miss, enjoy your day!" The barista said to me with a chirping voice, giving me my own order. 

"Thank you!" I smiled. I gave a shower breath as I considered my next move. 

"I'm just over at the window if you'd like to sit with me?" I finally said, waving in my table's direction. 

"Oh uh yeah sure," he told me, following me. It took him half as many steps as myself to reach the window and I couldn't help but giggle at him, once again, attempting to fit his legs into the comparatively tiny cafe table. We both awkwardly sipped at our drinks, and I realized I hadn't really prepared for, you know, the actual conversation part of inviting a man to sit with you. 

"So I got the TA position at the library, my first training shift is at 4:00 today," I finally said, putting my oversized mug down. He paused with the mug at his lips, seemingly thinking, then put it down and smiled at me. 

“That’s amazing Attie that’s great to hear. You really deserve it,” he beamed down at me. I felt my knees go weak at his smile and I was suddenly very thankful that I was sitting down. 

“Thank you, that means a lot to hear you say that,” I replied quietly, not fully realizing I had said what I had said until I did. Our eyes locked for a long moment. Finally we looked away, both blushing and laughing awkwardly. He went to take a drink, but seemed to miss his mouth in the process and wound up dumping part of his drink onto his sweater. 

"Aw shit," he cursed, looking down at himself and blushing. I rushed to bring him some napkins as he continued to frown down at himself. 

"You're having a rough Monday, huh?" I giggled, trying to lighten the mood and distract from the moment we just had as I cleaned the table. 

"Yeah it's just not my day. Good thing I planned on changing before work,” he replied with a low laugh. 

I felt that laugh go down my spine.

He dabbed at his sweater to get the last of the coffee that he could for now, but there was still an obvious blotch on his shirt. 

“Maybe we should get these to go and get you into some dryer clothes,” I smirked, taking a sip of my own coffee. 

“My apartment is nearby, we could finish our food there and then I could give you a ride to the library? I-if that’s not too much of an imposition? I have a shift then too” He suggested shyly. 

“Y-yeah we could do that,” I stammered back. 

“I’ll go ask Poe for some to-go bags,” he told me, getting up and stumbling towards the front counter. I stared out the window, contemplating the situation. Was this wrong? He was a facility member, and technically my higher up. 

_ But this isn’t anything bad, he’s just being nice and offering to give me a ride to work... he’s probably just embarrassed and wants to make a good impression so I still respect him. I’m not doing anything wrong... _

I was jerked out of my thoughts by a paper bag landing on the table in front of me, along with a to-go mug. We made small talk as we packed away our lunches, before he kindly gestured me out the door.

“Have a good day, you two,” Poe called after us with a sing-songy voice. Ben shot him a look as he held the door open for me and I ducked under his arm out and onto the street. 

“Where’s your apartment?” I asked, looking around at the many apartment buildings around us. He chuckled, and pointed up at the building that the coffee shop was in. 

“Oh!” I exclaimed, then began laughing, pointing to my own building right across from us, “I’m here.”

“Well that’s a coincidence for ya,” he said, laughing along with me before guiding me towards his apartment lobby. The lobby was a lot nicer than mine, and was decorated in a sleek modern style. I suddenly became very embarrassed by my own apartment lobby; a pre-war building that looked like it hadn’t been updated since the early 70s. We took the elevator to his floor, standing awkwardly close in the crowded space as it seemed like at this  _ exact  _ moment everyone in the world needed it. His hand brushed against my side and I fought the urge to jump out of my own skin. He pushed us a way out at his floor, dragging my from the crowd lightly by the wrist. I groaned to myself internally. 

_ Calm down Attie you’re not 16 anymore.  _

He stopped at his apartment door, fumbling with his keys before letting us in. He ducked his head as he entered and I stifled a giggle at that. I followed, taking in his apartment. I looked around the minimalist decor, all creams and light greys, that seemed to be immaculately clean. It almost felt bad to sit on his perfect couch with my filthy student body. 

“Take a seat, Attie, I’ll just be a moment,” he smiled at me, disappearing into his bedroom. I sat for a moment, looking around his apartment. 

“This is the cleanest apartment I have ever seen a single man own,” I mused to myself quietly. I wandered around the room, looking at the decorations on his walls. They all appeared to be pictures of him travelling to historical locations, old maps, and pages from ancient looking books. On his bedroom door there was a page from a book so old it was hard to make out any of the words anymore. I leaned in close, attempting to make out the words. 

_ Is that Lati- _

Suddenly the door swung and I found myself very,  _ very  _ close to Ben’s chest. 

“Oh uh hello there,” I said awkwardly, straightening up. I blushed, stepping back from him. 

“It’s a page from an ancient book retelling one of the Greek myths, I got it when I visited Greece for one of my study abroad sessions,” he explained, struggling to adjust the buttons on the cuffs of his grey shirt.

“Can I help you with that?” I asked with a giggle, watching his large hands attempt to do up the tiny buttons and failing miserably.

“Oh uh thank you,” he replied quietly, holding out his arm. As I quickly and easily did them up, I glanced up to see his cheeks had gone pink and he was watching my hands intently. 

“There. Much better,” I smiled. 

“Yes, thank you,” he said, returning my smile. We looked at each other for another long while, both seemingly unable to move. 

Finally, I was able to break the silence after what felt like forever. 

“Maybe we should drink our coffee before it gets cold?” 


	6. Chapter 6 - Ben

"Take a seat, Attie, I'll just be a moment," I told her with a small smile, going into my bedroom. I peeled off my now stained sweater and tossed it into the hamper, sighing loudly. I rummaged through my closet and picked out a light grey button up, shrugging it on and absentmindedly doing it up. Changing out of my jeans and into my work pants, I studied myself in the mirror for a moment. I fixed my hair, and ran my hand along my stubbly chin. 

I look professional enough I guess. God why did I have to embarrass myself like that. 

I mentally slapped myself for spilling coffee all over my damn self. I wasn't a teenager anymore so why do I act like a brainless fool whenever I'm around this woman? I shook myself, attempting to do up my cuffs as I made my way out of the room, not wanting to leave her waiting for much longer. I swung the door open, and found myself far too close to Attie. She stared ahead into my chest for a moment, then straightened up and smiled awkwardly. 

"Oh uh hello there," she said weakly, blushing and stepping back.

Assuming she was studying the page framed on my door, I said "It's a page from an ancient book retelling one of the Greek myths, I got it when I visited Greece for one of my study abroad sessions." I continued to struggle with these damn tiny buttons as I spoke. She saw this, and giggled. 

"Can I help you with that?" She asked, looking up at me with a wry smile. 

"Oh uh thank you," I responded quietly. I held out my wrist, and I tried not to stare as she did them up with little effort. I felt my cheeks heat up and I prayed she didn't notice. 

"There. Much better," she finished, patting my hand and grinning up at me. 

"Yes, thank you," I smiled back. I found myself looking at her intently, studying her slim face and those addicting dark eyes. She looked back and I wondered if she was doing the same to me. 

_ Ben this is very unprofessional, you know.  _

Finally, she was the one to break the moment. 

"Maybe we should drink our coffee before it gets cold?" She suggested shyly. 

"O-oh yes good idea!" I said far too loudly, also moving toward the kitchen a bit too swiftly. 

I handed her the cup labeled with a small white heart ( _ thanks Poe _ ) as well as her paper bag, and took my own. We sat at my breakfast bar, eating and drinking and making small talk. She told me about her family’s legacy of great women, her studies at the university, and her excitement for her new TA position. I loved watching her talk excitedly about everything, and the way she never seemed to stop smiling. Her hair often flopped into her face as she spoke excitedly, and I fought the urge to fix it for her. 

“I like your apartment,” she told me, spinning around her stool to look around. 

“Thank you. Some people think it’s a little bland,” I chuckled, doing the same and leaning my arms against the counter. 

“It’s very clean, and it’s your own style, so who can fault you for that?” she replied, beaming up at me. “Mine is a really old, it seems like the type of place someone would describe as ‘retro’ to be polite,” she giggled, “I wish I could keep my apartment this clean, everything is all mismatched and there are books everywhere.”

I suddenly found myself picturing her in my living room, multi-coloured pillows and decorations now littering the space and stacks of old books scattered everywhere. I found myself welcoming the chaos. 

“What time is your shift today?” She asked me suddenly, pulling me out of my thoughts. 

"Oh not till 4:00," I replied, glancing at my watch.  _ It's already 2:30... _

"Um... Attie?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't like having to say this, because it makes me feel...wrong, but it may be best not to mention any of this to Jo," I told her, frowning and rubbing the back of my neck uncomfortably.

"Oh. Yes. Good idea," she said with a giggle after a moment, "She doesn't seem like the type to encourage this kind of behaviour. She 'suggested' I wear exclusively skirts and dresses to work in email. Is that even legal?"

I laughed. 

"No it’s not. I don't know if she heard the news that the government has allowed women to wear pants for a few decades now." 

She giggled at this, adjusting her skirt absentmindedly. 

"If she gives you any trouble just tell me, I'm used to dealing with her so I can usually help when she gets unreasonable," I told her with a smile. 

"Thank you, Ben," she replied, beaming up at me. Her smile seemed to light up the room at that moment, and I couldn’t resist smiling back at her. 

"We, uh, we should probably get going if we don’t want to be late," I told her, attempting not to stare at her. She agreed, gathering her things and following me back out the door. I led her down to the parking garage, pointing at the small red electric car towards the back of the garage. 

“That’s mine,” I said, leading her in that direction. She unsuccessfully stifled a laugh.

“What?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at her. 

“Nothing nothing, it’s just not... what I was expecting from you,” she said, attempting to suppress a smile by scrunching up her face. 

“What’s wrong with my car?” I said, realizing I was borderline whining and hating myself for it.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s very eco friendly and a smart investment,” she teased, bumping my arm, “I would just like to see you fit in that thing.”

I jokingly glared at her, opening the door and throwing my stuff into the backseat before sliding smoothly into my seat. She rolled her eyes and laughed, getting in with much less bravado and much easier than myself. We gave each other jokingly instigative looks, then both started laughing. 

“I’m sorry, the car was an easy target,” she smirked, giving me a wry smile. 

“It’s fine its not the first time I’ve heard it,” I chuckled, “But people usually quiet down when they see me in it.”

“Ah yes nothing more terrifying than the giant librarian,” she laughed. We continued to joke and laugh as I pulled out of the parking garage and made our way to the library. As we saw the library come into view in the city skyline, her face suddenly scrunched up in thought. 

“Are you okay?” I asked, seeing her become perturbed. 

“Maybe I should get out here. I don’t want to get you in trouble...” 

“Oh uh are you sure? I don’t want to make you walk a couple blocks to the library,” I replied with a frown. 

“I’m fine to walk, it’s a beautiful day out. Thank you so much for your help Ben,” she smiled as I pulled over. 

“My pleasure. I’ll see you at the library then?” I replied with a soft smile. 

“I’ll see you soon,” she smiled back, taking her bag and stepping onto the sidewalk. I lingered for a moment as I saw her walk away, feeling guilty for letting her go. I sighed, pulling away from the sidewalk and returning to the route I had taken to the library everyday. I honked and gave her a small wave as I passed, and she waved back enthusiastically. I felt my face get hot as I looked at her in my rear view mirror, her hair blowing lightly in the fall wind and her dark eyes shining in the sunlight. She was so beautiful, and the more I thought of her the more I found myself falling. 

I needed this woman in my life more. And this terrified me. 


	7. Chapter 7 - Attie

"I'll see you soon," I told him with a smile, retrieving my stuff and hopping onto the sidewalk. We looked at each other for a brief moment, his eyes lingering on mine just long enough to make me notice it. I felt my body get hot under his gaze, and I forced myself to look away. I started heading towards the library, trying to get the feeling of his eyes on me out of my head. The little red car drove past me suddenly, honking it's high pitched horn at me and I giggled. He gave me a small wave, and I waved back at him energetically. I laughed as I followed his route towards the library, feeling the light wind on my face. It was a beautiful day, and spending the day with a man like Ben made the grass seem a little greener, the sky a little bluer. The world felt more vibrant after talking with him. I found myself almost running to the library, arriving in the parking lot, seeing his car in the employee parking spot and smiling. Taking a deep breath, I walked through the automatic door attempting to seem confident and unperturbed. 

My heeled boots clacked against the laminate flooring as I walked towards the front desk. Jo and Ben stood behind it, talking lowly. I stood in front of the desk and waited for them to notice me. Jo looked up almost immediately, her cold eyes fixing on me. 

"Hello Miss. Woods," she said coolly, moving to stand across from me. Ben looked up as she said this, and he smirked at me before looking away. 

"Hello Mrs. Nu. I'm here for my TA training like you asked," I said calmly. She nodded at me, opening the door and letting me behind the desk. 

"We'll start you off with reading the manuals, signing the paperwork, and then we'll get started on your training. Expect to be here late," she told me plainly, "I will train you till 6:00 and Mr. Solo will take over for the remainder of your shift." I nodded in understanding, trying not to hide my excitement at working with Ben. She brought me into her office, gesturing for me to sit at the chair near her desk and slamming a large binder in front of me. 

"This is the manual you have to read that entails all the protocols you need to know. Please read it completely and promptly, then fill out the paperwork at the back of the binder" she huffed, handing it to me. I sighed as I watched her leave and close the door before her. I opened it to the first page, then lightly flipped through all the pages. 

Ugh there's so much here.

I sighed loudly, beginning the reading. Thankfully I was used to this kind of reading by now so the next hour or so passed by quickly and efficiently enough. Jo would come in periodically to check that I was still working (and to glare at me in the process), and finally after what felt like forever all the paperwork was done. I stuck my head out of the office, but she was nowhere to be seen. Ben stood at the front desk, helping a student. She looked at him with adoring eyes, and I felt a weird pang in my chest. He saw me out of the corner of his eye and excused himself from the student. She frowned at me, walking away with her books. 

"Have you seen Mrs. Nu? I'm done all the reading and stuff," I asked quietly. 

"She's just gone to put some books away, are you really done all that already?" he laughed. I nodded. 

"I've always been a speed reader," I said with a small laugh.

"Here I'll teach you how to use the computer system till she gets back," he decided, taking the binder and paperwork from me, "you'll need it to log your hours, access the tech, and all the other shit you'll have to do as TA." 

He paused, frowning. 

"Don't swear around Mrs. Nu," he told me, chuckling awkwardly. 

"Ok I'll make sure to get out all my cursing before work then," I laughed, looking up at him. He laughed along with me, then gestured for me to sit in the chair in front of the computer nearby. He gave me a brief run over of the ancient looking computer system, leaning over my shoulder to point out the various attributes of the program. I attempted to listen as he pointed out where to log in, where to view my schedule, how to set up an event…

But I was much more interested in the sound of his voice, and in the way his hand lightly grazed my back as he leaned on the chair. I felt my heart beating loudly in my chest at how close he was, praying that he couldn’t notice how frazzled I was. I fussed with the hem of my skirt absentmindedly, forcing myself to pay closer attention to the screen and not his breath on my skin. 

Suddenly we heard footsteps coming towards us, and Jo appeared with a furrowed brow. 

“An issue has arisen at the main office and they need me there to supervise. I have a list of subjects Miss. Woods must be educated about in my office, I trust you can take over for me in the meantime,” she told Ben. He nodded at her, and she retrieved her things from the office and promptly left. 

“Well she left in a rush,” I snickered. He laughed, going to check the list she mentioned. He returned moments later, looking intently at the clipboard. 

“This will take us all night,” he grumbled, flipping through the pages on the clipboard, “she was right. I hope you’re able to be here late, this may take us till the end of my shift.” 

We got to work right away, going down the long list with determination to get all the boring training done as soon as possible. Jo seemed to think I needed to learn this library inside and out in a single night. Soon, midnight was upon us and the library doors were shut and locked. 

“Well that was exhausting,” he huffed, checking the doors, “I just have a few things to put away before we can go, do you mind helping me?”

“Yeah of course,” I smiled. We took a cart with a few stacks of books up to one of the upper floors, filing away the large tomes in the stacked shelves. I looked up at one of the units, seeing the place for one of the last books far above my reach. I wheeled a ladder over and climbed up it carefully, cautious to not slip in my heeled boots. Ben saw me from the other end of the aisle, looking mildly concerned. 

“Are you okay Miss. Woods? Those ladders can be a little unsta-“

No sooner had he started speaking that the rung I was standing on snapped out of place and I felt my foot go out under me. I called out in shock, attempting to grab the ladder and missing. 

_ Oh great, injured on the first day… wonderful.  _

Having accepted my fate, I tensed up, expecting to hit the hard tile floor. Instead I landed somewhere that was, in fact, not the floor. 


	8. Chapter 8 - Ben

"Are you okay Miss. Woods? Those ladders can be a little unsta-"

I couldn't even get my warning out before I heard a crack and the ladder rung give out under her foot. I didn't even have time to think about what was happening before I had rushed over to catch her before she could hit the hard tile meters under her. She landed in my arms, nearly knocking me over before I managed to steady myself. Her face was scrunched up in a grimace, as if she was still expecting to hit the ground. Cautiously opening one eye, then the other, she looked around before looking up at me. She smiled sheepishly up at me, her face turning bright red and she averted eye contact.

"Oops," she said quietly. 

"Are you okay? That could've been really bad," I asked her, looking up at the broken ladder. 

"Y-yeah I'm alright thank you, just a little shook up," she replied with an awkward chuckle. 

"We really need new ladders in here. Or you just need to be taller," I joked, hoping to lighten the mood and make her feel better. 

"Well not everyone is the size of a fridge, Mr. Solo," she shot back with a giggle. She looked up at me, meeting my eyes finally. At that moment, however, we seemingly both realized her hand was on my chest, still gripping my shirt in shock from the fall. She sputtered out a half-unintelligible apology and removed it quickly. 

"You can let me down now, I'll be okay," she giggled, looking down at the floor then back to me. I let her down, almost reluctantly, making sure she was alright. She smoothed out her clothes and ran a hand through her ruffled hair.

“Maybe we should wrap up for the night,” I suggested kindly, “Putting books away isn’t as important as your safety.”

“I mean it is past midnight so I won’t complain about that,” she agreed with a timely yawn. I chuckled, smiling down at her. We returned to the lobby, and I collected my things from my office as she gathered her own from the employee lounge. As I finished organizing everything I needed to bring home, she poked her head into my office.

“Your office is very different from Mrs. Nu’s,” she commented, looking around. I glanced at the photos pinned to my corkboard and small plant next to my desktop. 

“I like having some character in here,” I chuckled.

“It’s nice. I like your office a lot more,” she smiled, sitting on the edge of my desk as she continued to examine the room. I found myself staring at her again, and I hated that this had become a common practice of mine. 

“Would you like a ride home tonight? It’s late and I don’t want you to be stuck taking the bus,” I offered, attempting to snap myself out of it. 

“Oh thank you yes I would appreciate that,” she replied with a wide smile. I smiled back, retrieving my keys and guiding her to my parking spot outside. She fell into the passenger seat beside me, sighing loudly. 

“You okay?” I asked, driving away from the library. 

“I’m fine, just tired,” she smiled, leaning back and closing her eyes. 

“Yeah I know the training can be pretty extensive, there’s a lot going on in the library to remember,” I agreed, using the need to keep my eyes on the road to stop myself from staring at her again. We drove the rest of the way in a comfortable silence, the only sound being the rush of the wind past the car. I pulled up outside of her apartment, putting my blinkers on as I turned to her. 

She seemed to have fallen asleep on the way home…

I smiled, getting out of the car quietly and gathering her things from the back of my car. I opened the door for her then, gently waking her up. She looked up at me groggily, clearly still half asleep. 

“I’ll walk you to your apartment,” I told her quietly, helping her up. She returned my smile, and stumbled to her feet. She clumsily unlocked the entrance door, and I followed closely behind her as guided me into the elevator. She leaned against the back wall of the elevator as we slowly made our way up to her floor. 

_ Wow this building is as old as she said, this elevator is slow as hell.  _

The elevator shuddered, and she was knocked from the wall and into me. I chuckled as she shot up when she realised she was leaning against me instead of the wall.

“Sorry,” she winced quietly. 

“It’s okay, I get mistaken for a wall often,” I laughed. She giggled, and the elevator finally came to a stop. We stopped outside of her apartment door, and she unlocked it before turning to me. 

“Thank you for seeing me home safe, I really appreciate it Ben,” she said sleepily, taking her bag from me. 

“It’s no problem at all. I hope you have a good night’s sleep Attie,” I replied, smiling. She waved goodbye and closed the door behind her as I made my way back to my car. 

In the weeks that follow that night, I found myself finding excuses to see Attie. First it was finding excuses to help her at work, then offering rides to and from work, and inviting her to coffee every chance I could. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and it was becoming more difficult to hide the fact that I was immensely fascinated by her. As unprofessional as it was - and I knew that it was - I couldn’t stop myself. 

She was worth any repercussions that I may face. 


	9. Chapter 9 - Attie

“Good morning, Ben,” I said with a smile, sitting beside him at the coffee bar. 

“Oh good morning,” he grinned back, taking a sip of coffee. He slid a second mug in my direction. “I got your coffee already.”

“Thanks! You didn’t have to do that,” I said, feeling myself blush slightly. 

“Maybe so, but I wanted to. I hope it got it right,” he replied sweetly. I took a sip of my coffee. 

“Just right,” I said happily. His smile widened slightly at this. 

“Oh! Here’s your copy of Catherine the Great’s biography by the way, I’ve been meaning to read it for ages,” I told him, pulling the old book from my bag and handing it to him.

“Did you like it?” He asked, taking the book from me and stashing it away in his own book bag.

“It was amazing, it’s so amazing that we have such a detailed account of her life in her own words,” I gushed. He chuckled, taking another sip of his coffee. I sucked in a breath, considering my next words carefully. 

“Are you going to that faculty party tonight?” I asked innocuously.

He paused, the coffee mug at his lips. 

“I considered it,” he said after a moment. 

“I was… also… considering going,” I stammered out. He looked at me for a long moment. 

“Well maybe we could consider going… together?” He suggested. I giggled awkwardly. 

“We could do that,” I agreed, blushing strongly. He smirked, his face turning red too. 

“I could pick you up tonight after my shift? I’m done at 6:00,” he said. 

“Yeah that’s perfect,” I replied with a smile. We chatted for a little while longer, before he had to head to work. I waved goodbye, trying not to come across as too excited. I returned home, collapsing at my desk. The next many hours were spent at work, trying to keep myself focused, but my mind insisted on wandering to thinking of him. 

_ What did he think of me asking him to go? Was it too forward considering he’s technically one of my supervisors? Was it just a friendly thing? _

I shook myself, trying to return my thoughts to the wall of text in front of me. Finally 5:00 rolled around and I decided it was time to get ready for the work party. I set my long hair in curlers and began rummaging through my closet in search of something to wear. I settled on a lilac button down dress with pearl accents, and slipped on my Mary Janes. As I finished dressing, I glanced at my phone to see a text from Ben.

**_Just finished my shift, will be there soon!_ **

Smiling at my phone, I stashed it into my dress pocket along with my keys and returned to the bathroom to finish my hair and makeup. Once I was satisfied I took the absurdly slow elevator down to the lobby, where I saw Ben’s red car parked outside. I pushed down the excited feeling in my chest as I left the building to meet him. I pulled open the door to his car, and he smiled at me. He was dressed in all black, and I giggled to myself at the contrast of our outfit choices. 

  
  


"Hey Ben," I said with a smile, sliding into the seat, “How was your shift?”

“Pretty uneventful, Jo was really on my ass today but at least we know she won’t give us any trouble at the faculty part tonight, she hates parties,” he chuckled. 

“You know that doesn’t really surprise me, I can’t really imagine her as the party type,” I laughed. 

“I don’t think she understands the concept of fun enough to be a party person,” he snickered, pulling away from the curb. We drove off towards the university campus where the faculty party was being held. I watched the warm tones of the fall trees as we went, and I wondered at the dusk sunlight washing over the landscape. I heard Ben chuckle quietly, and I turned to him. 

“What are you laughing at?” I teased. 

“Nothing it’s just cute how fascinated by everything you seem,” he smiled, before immediately going stone faced and turning red. 

“O-oh sorry I shouldn’t have said that, that wasn’t appropriate, I’m sorry,” he stammered out awkwardly, looking mortified at himself.

_ He thought I was cute? _

Feeling caught off guard but not wanting him to feel bad, I told him, “It’s ok Ben you’re allowed to call your friends cute.”

He gave a weak smile but kept his eyes on the road and said nothing. I cursed myself mentally as a tense silence set in. I thought for a moment, deciding on what I wanted to say. 

"I understand... that you want to maintain a level of professionalism when it comes to work since you're technically one of my supervisors and you're a bit older then me... but you are genuinely my friend, so you don't have to worry about saying 'unprofessional' things when it's just us okay?" I told him kindly, putting my hand on his forearm. We pulled to a stop at a red light, and he looked down at my hand for a long moment. Looking up finally, he gave me a small smile.

"Thank you," he said sweetly. I grinned at him, removing my hand. 

"So you think I'm cute huh," I snickered, poking him jokingly. 

"I immediately regret saying anything," he laughed, pulling into the parking lot. I laughed along with him before we headed into the party. It was a fairly large gathering, with professors, TAs, secretaries, and all other sorts of faculty milling about. There was plenty of food and alcohol being distributed around the room too, and it was easy to tell the people that had already been partaking in the drinks. I laughed quietly to myself as I watched the already half-drunk old professors bicker and cackle far too loudly.

“This seems like it’ll be interesting,” I whispered to him. He chuckled quietly, and we made our way into the crowd. There was a low hum of music under the chatter, and the quiet clinking of ice against glass. This was my first faculty party like this, and needless to say I was a little overwhelmed. I spotted the bar, and quietly slipped away from Ben to grab myself a drink. Downing the fruity drink quickly, I retrieved another before heading back to him. 

“Oh there you are, I thought I’d lost you,” he joked, looking down and noticing the glass in my hand. He smirked at me.

“Don’t go getting drunk on me now,” he laughed. 

“I’m not a lightweight, don’t you worry,” I grinned.


End file.
